Causes of impotence: social standards for a”normal sex”
- This cause of impotence, is not a major. Alas, the young man, in fact – the boy learns about sex a lot, have not really experiencing sexual desire. To know about sex – in principle a good idea, and psychologists urge to engage in sexual education of children.
- But sex education involves knowing what sex is, the ability to explain his naturalness, timeliness and communication with certain feelings. Meanwhile, just that most parents are not engaged – they are ashamed, “awkward”, etc.
- But the knowledge of how (supposedly) to be “normal sex” comes not only that too early, even in this form, which is very far from reality.
- Entering the circle of older men (elders, communicating with his older brothers, etc.), starting to participate in adult conversations, boys, growing up a man to hear endless stories about the hundreds of “victory” and the top ten sex acts per night.
- As a result, sex cluttered with so many myths that by the beginning of sexual life growing up a man afraid not correspond to the ideal, which is built in the head by some stranger fantasies, films, books, ie, fiction.
- And about the reality, few talk seriously with him. And fear, in fact, formed before the sexual experience. Fear not be as perfect as “necessary” does not conform to the standard and achieve high scores.
- Often, in the period of onset of sexual activity, young people suffer from such an early psychological impotence, although physically they are absolutely healthy. But just very frightened by the prospect of not up to par.
- This main cause of impotence affects directly or indirectly on other factors, which we discuss below, in fact, the illusion of “normal sex” does not dissipate with age, it continues to support the men and older too.
- Therefore, the more a man matures, the higher are the requirements that it exposes an abstract public opinion, but in fact, it’s the social circle that continues to broadcast the old tales.
- After all, if you start telling the truth – there is a risk to be in the minority. Not because everyone else – in fact sexual giants, which can each day 5-7 times (if such a man would need a staff of servants, and an unlimited supply of money, because all the forces of his time and went on to sex!), And because many continue to maintain the illusion of his omnipotence and reliability sex.
- Why men lie? Why believe these tales? And in what areas develops psychological impotence? This is what we will talk further, trying to take into account all possible factors to consider all the nuances and the complex causes of impotence.
Distrust of the body
Sex – is a form of physical and emotional stress. Of course, pleasant. But tell me, if for pleasant and powerful experience you need to overcome the steep climb up the hill for 100 meters – it is always you can? And everywhere there?
When you say, “perhaps the view from the mountain is great, but tomorrow morning, having slept, I really enjoyed the ascent of the mountain and the contemplation of form than now, when it is dark, tired and uncomfortable shoes” – a decision all around seems reasonable and you, too.
But the situation with sex for some reason decided to postpone for tomorrow because of fatigue, congestion emotional background, the desire to relax in a passive mode – not always seem sensible.
Because it is necessary to utter the phrase “I’m not ready right now”, but someone once warned you to idea that we should always be ready to have sex, if there are any signs of desire, the conditions and you are not seriously ill. All this just relates to the tales, about which I wrote above.
“You must be prepared always and everywhere” – one of the most common myths about the male potency.
And then there is the famous chain: a man can not hear your body, which sometimes gives quite clearly understand the “not now”, and spoiling for a fight. The body naturally tries to resist, the erection does not occur or occurs with difficulty, there is fear of failure, fear of appearing “weak”, the mind begins to adjust the body, the body is more resistant, and finally erection disappears.
To begin to address this situation, it makes sense to start to listen carefully to your body. Thoughts about sex do not mean full of desire and erection readiness partner – is not a factor that is guaranteed to lead to full sexual intercourse.
It is important, first of all, to feel the volume of their physical strength and the actual degree of physical desire. And if they leave something to be desired – it is not necessary to test yourself for strength. So you show even self-respect.
Besides, it makes sense to understand that there are people with strong sexual constitution, and is – weaker. By itself, a strong sexual constitution – not necessarily luck. From it can be followed by a lot of trouble: the inability to meet their needs in the right amount, a large amount of random connections, which can lead to accidental pregnancy and the concomitant challenges to disease.
And some difficult because of the strong sexual constitution to create a stable relationship, who is constantly thinking about sex can just live and let live the rest of life – and such complaints were in my practice.
So respect yourself – is to take a reality, including natural, hormone, constitutional. You – the whole world. And nature has given you all your abilities in a specific and not a random mix.
But listen to your body – is not enough to cope with the situation. For more man inevitably confronted with a problem – I must say his unwillingness and unpreparedness. And then ….
One of the major causes of impotence is a lack of confidence. If a man takes himself as he is, he is nothing stopping to identify themselves – to be honest about their conditions, needs, or lack of commitment to the same sex. And if a man of himself does not think in this regard is nothing wrong – he is likely to be able to convey their thoughts and feelings to a partner and negotiate with him.
But the majority of men with problems of psychological impotence, do not accept themselves as they are. They think that they are “not good enough” to be loved, respected, appreciated. And what do they have to prove their “goodness” all others.
The annex to the sex all this means that a man does not feel quite full, and therefore thinks his partner has to prove that he – a real man, not a “so-so”. And just because he decides that he must always be ready, when only it will give its consent, and even more so – to take the initiative.
Accordingly, internal self-doubt can become a constant cause of the growing gap between the body and its real needs on the one hand, and the mind, ideas about yourself, “how to be”, and emotions on this issue – on the other.
Uncertainty about the usefulness of their own, the importance of sufficient “goodness” is an occasion to look better, stronger, etc. than it really is, and that hence the desire to show the partner “class” at any time of day or night in the hope of greater acceptance, approval, praise and love.
However, in this way can expect disappointment because you did not tell your partner that overcomes fatigue, fear, etc. And it is fairly and reasonably believes that you just genuinely want this, too. And therefore there is nothing to marvel at – all natural, normal.
Man, do not get the expected delight and praise disenchanted even stronger and even more often begins to fear that she will not be enough and will not be satisfied with praising his ability to love. As a consequence, fear of failure and frustration on the part of the partner can make the whole situation even more tense.
If you are clearly aware of their uncertainty, it makes sense to first of all work with your self-esteem, improve self-confidence, learn to accept yourself as you are, with all your needs, or their absence. And also try to be honest with your partner.
After all, if you do not tell her that it is important to you praise, you need to maintain your self-esteem, she may not realize that you need it.